


You're in Ruins

by yauksiei



Series: Soldier!Stiles [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Language, Multi, PTSD, a little bit of sexual content but not enough to up the rating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-21
Updated: 2012-08-21
Packaged: 2017-11-12 14:20:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/492122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yauksiei/pseuds/yauksiei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are times when Derek looks at Stiles and can't see his husband at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're in Ruins

**Author's Note:**

> More accidental fics 'cause of Green Day.

When Stiles finally came home, he reeked of blood, desert, gunpowder, cheap soap, and pretty much every negative emotion ever felt. He looked haggard, exhausted, and so much older than his 25 years. But he was _there_ , he was fucking _alive_ , and if the pack had anything to say about it he would never leave again.

Everyone made to tackle him, but Stiles managed to avoid them for the time being and ran right for Derek. The two collided in a desperate embrace, reveling in the fact that they were together again after such a long time. Stiles hadn't come home for any holiday; he either couldn't, or he chose not to. He told everyone in his letters that those visits were much too brief, and however much he longed for home, he wouldn't have been able to handle it. Better to come back for good instead for only a few days. So to have him now, warm and trembling with joy, was like staring right at Heaven.

They kissed eagerly. It was wet with their tears and didn't taste like Derek remembered, but that didn't make it any less perfect, any less _real._ (He was here, he was _here_ , oh fuck, he was actually _here_.)

Stiles opened his mouth to say something after they pulled back, but the pack took advantage and pounced. They laid in a cheerful heap, ruffling Stiles' hair, kissing his cheeks, and squeezing him tight enough to bruise. Derek looked up from the heart warming scene to glance at Sheriff Stilinski. The whole group was crying, and he was the man's father, so it wasn't a surprise to see tear tracks on his face as well. He and Stiles sobbed happily into each other's shoulders once the youth was able to get back up and hug his dad.

"I missed you son," John whispered.

"Missed you too, Dad," Stiles choked, grinning as brightly as the shining sun above their heads.

Once night had fallen, they all had a huge dinner at the Stilinski household, in which Melissa now lived. Stiles already knew about their marriage, but he still looked like he was just hearing of it for the first time. As they ate, stories that hadn't reached the letters were all thrown at him, falling on attentive ears.

That was one of the first changes Derek noticed in Stiles. His attention span had improved quite a bit. Listening to orders and carrying them out in the heat of battle did that to a person. It was one of the few good things.

After dinner, they stayed a bit longer before the pack left. Derek never let go of Stiles' hand on the way back to what was now their house.

"I can't believe I'm finally seeing it in person!" Stiles chirped, previous exhaustion fading under the hyperactive boy the Alpha remembered.

"You won't be able to see it very well," Derek pointed out, "So calm down."

"Well, a sneak preview then!"

His reaction was priceless as they pulled up, the Camaro's headlights illuminating some of the mansion's front. Stiles gaped at it silently for a few seconds, before crying, "It's friggin' _huge_!" and scrambling out of the car to get a closer look.

By then, Derek's patience had run its course. "You should see our bedroom."

Stiles thankfully understood in an instant. His eyes darkened significantly before Derek kissed him with intent and led him inside.

They made love on the bed that Derek had yet to sleep in (he'd been waiting for this moment to do so), the Alpha maliciously taking advantage of gripping his mate's longer hair as he made desperate thrusts into Stiles' pliant body.

"Gonna cut it," Stiles gasped as Derek licked up his stomach.

"Don't," Derek grunted.

He figured that he would have gotten a protest if Stiles hadn't come right then, eyes rolling upwards and sweet cherry lips moaning out a curse along with Derek's name. The sight of him sent Derek over the edge as well, and oh he'd missed this, missed _him._

A few minutes later saw the ending of a pretty perfect day, Stiles tracing his face until both of them were asleep in each other's arms.

Of course, that was when it all started going wrong.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was subtle at first. Stiles just had some trouble sleeping. He'd always experienced that problem, so they all just shrugged it off and he did too. He smelled a little different too, but Derek figured it was only the scents of war that needed some time to be replaced by others (his).

However, after a full week of being at home, Sheriff Stilinski asked a few members of the pack if his son had shown any sort of...sensitivity to them.

"We were having dinner last night, just the two of us," he explained, "When I asked him if he was planning on going to rethink on going to college. Suddenly he's snapping at me like Melissa in the middle of the month!"

After some of them complained about not needing that last bit of information, there was mutual agreement on the fact that yes, Stiles was a bit emotionally sensitive. In the end though, they chalked it up as Stiles coping with being back home after a few years of fighting in his own little weird way.

But soon it got worse. Starting out as little moments, when Stiles would appear to be zoning out like he used to in high school, snapping right back when someone called his name or tapped him on the shoulder (or tackled him, which was usually Jackson or Scott). Then it quickly progressed to the point where Scott was telling Derek how Stiles just froze in the middle of the grocery store, staring at the cereals for almost 10 minutes, face pale and eyes wide with horror, as if the Cocoa Puffs were going to attack him.

Only a day later, Deaton called the Hale house and asked if Stiles was alright. He had offered to help out with Scott at the clinic, having been staring at the lights at the front desk for 5 minutes with the same horrified expression that Scott had described. He didn't snap out of it even when Scott yelled in his ear.

"Derek, I think you need to take him to see a doctor," Deaton advised, voice grim yet gentle as always, "Perhaps his stepmother could take a look at him."

Stiles protested with unusual venom that honestly scared Derek more than anything, but soon he was sitting in front of Melissa and answering a few of her questions as she checked him out.

Everyone guessed before he walked into the room what was wrong, but it was so much worse officially hearing the diagnosis. Stiles certainly didn't like it, especially when he heard words like 'therapy'. A stern talk with his father calmed him down after he stormed out, but the four letters still stuck in everyone's minds like a plague.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

There are times when Derek looks at Stiles and can't see his husband at all. At least both of them had been present for their wedding, if the beautiful smile had been anything to go by. But now it was like Stiles was hardly alive.

The slightest thing sent him off to that Other Place where no one could reach him. A ceiling fan, a light that was too bright, even a kiss or a soft word in his ear. One night Derek woke up with Stiles' hands around his neck, absolute hatred in his eyes.

They tried to get help, but none of the treatments seemed to work at all. If anything, the mood swings and flashbacks worsened. Derek hadn't felt this helpless since his previous family burned. It was horrible just to watch Stiles' face suddenly go blank with terror for even a second, with no warning and no way to stop it once it started, and all he could do was hold his hand and try to wait until it passed.

Stiles could tell how bad it was, and how much of a burden he'd become. The prospect killed him, and he couldn't help but whisper an apology late one night--a night in a long list of those that Derek stayed up with him for fear of waking up strangling his love.

Derek thought he was talking to his fallen comrades at first. He usually did that when the flashbacks were especially vivid, or murmur other things that no one bothered to make out through unmoving lips. But Stiles' eyes were clear, more focused than he'd been since he got back.

"It's not your fault," Derek murmured, putting their foreheads together.

"Feels like it is," Stiles breathed, a single tear falling down his cheek, "I'm causing everyone so much pain, just like before--"

"You never put pain on anyone," Derek interrupted, "Ever. If anything, you took some away."

Stiles was silent. Worried that he'd slip away, the Alpha kissed him soundly and whispered, "It'll get better. I promise."

But sitting there, watching another night pass, that promise looked more like the lie it was. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Sorry it's a bit short and all...finished it at 2 in the morning XP


End file.
